On the Phone
Who is this Button for?
Modern people for whom life can be a distraction from electronic intercourse.
Most other humans.
Don't hang up. Your call is important to us.
Praise the heavens for an invention greater than the wheel! 
When using handsfree be sure to wear the button to explain to passers-by that you are involved in an intelligent telecommunication and not psychotically talking to yourself.
Surely it's time to upgrade?
The cell phone has become the adult's transitional object, replacing the toddler's teddy bear for comfort and a sense of belonging.
I drive with my knees. Otherwise, how can I put on my lipstick and talk on my phone?
The telephone has no constitutional right to be answered.
(Walter Matthau playing a judge in the film, First Monday in October.
Something to consider
Upgrade your relationships with eye contact and touch.
- Evidence: 1. More people can and do use cell phones than can ride bikes or cars. 2. The cell phone is non-violent, while the wheel has blood on its tyres.
- Which just goes to show what a wonderfully comforting invention the cell phone really is.