Fearless Smoker

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Who is this Button for?

Smokers dying to quit.

Anyone forced to lurk outside for a nicotine fix.

Provocative Suggestions

Enjoy tobacco without guilt – if you know you can’t quit, why further damage your health with negative emotions?

Postpone quitting until you experience more serious symptoms such as chest pain and inability to breathe.

Encourage your lover to smoke so you can both have ashtray breath.

Avoid mixing with steely-faced, politically correct and morally-superior members of the ‘second-hand smoke’ lobby, as well as all other non-smokers.


3 Tips for Committed Smokers:

1. Men should only smoke cigars, cheroots or macho cigarettes with the highest tar and nicotine content. Filters and 'light' cigarettes are for women – ask any cowboy.

2. Fuel your addiction to nicotine by smoking whenever you can, but reverting to nicotine gum, vapourisers, electronic cigarettes and patches in restaurants and other places where smoking has been banned by highly fearful, risk-averse, 'politically correct' fascists.

3. Be polite but firm with anyone who criticises you, telling them that you have finally accepted the fact that one day you will die.

Quotations

It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of leading causes of statistics.

(Fletcher Knebel)


Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

(Mark Twain)


A million surplus Maggies are willing to bear the yoke;

And a woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke.

(Rudyard Kipling, from The Betrothed)



Something to consider

Either wear this button with pride - or quit for life.

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Notes